Monday, December 17, 2007

Getting it: Officially.

Relationships. Before I say anything, I feel like I should first say that I am terrible at them. I eventually find myself at the point where everything about that person annoys me so badly that I have to let go. This could take a month, it could take eight, it could take a year... but eventually I want out.

With that said, maybe it's because I don't let things just happen. I count, I keep track, I worry. I count how many days it's been since I've last seen them, how long it's been since I've sincerely laughed at something they've said, how long it's been since I felt adored. I keep track of gift giving, card sending, REAL dates. I worry who that girl is they're talking to, when I'll see them next, do I make him feel important enough.

What if I threw all that out the window and let things just happen? I am. I'm trying. Because everything I've been doing has yet to work. (surprise, surprise you crazy lady) I like not keeping track, counting, or worrying. There's no pressure. I can be me, he can be who he is... and we have fun.

Lesson: Don't forget to have fun with someone, whether you're official or not. All that will matter, and all you'll remember is the fun you did or didn't have. So have it. Enjoy their company, let them make you laugh. Let it go where it goes... even if it goes nowhere.

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